she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Randomize
