What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
