It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
