I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize