So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
