nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Such a big mess for such a small penis
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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