he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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