Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize
