I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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