Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
