I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
