I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
