listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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