someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I looked at my own cervix.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
