Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Randomize
