dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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