i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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