i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
