I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
