I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
