Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
