Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
