We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
