I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
