We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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