i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize