Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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