my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
