I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
