I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
