Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
