stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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