That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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