There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
