i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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