He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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