I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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