I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
