Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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