come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
