I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
