She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
