I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
porn star boner night. come get it.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
