Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize
