a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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