i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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