I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
Randomize
