and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
