you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
