i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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