maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
