I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
