capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize