Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
