How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Randomize
