There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
