If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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