Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
