he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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