I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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