I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we made out on top of his cat.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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