i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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