If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
