...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
